But still a good thing to have. Im not disagreeing with your assessment at all, however, I have to question you on thisdo you really believe that if it were possible to two men or two women to get pregnant that they never would and things like this would never happen just because they were heterosexual? Does he think hes too old to be a dad? Men abandon and fail to pay for children constantly. But you know what? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Move on. evanscr05 Second, after all this talk of how disgusting he was for supposedly not using a condom, not knowing her all that long, etc., why no talk about this woman doing the exact same thing (number it takes to tango = 2) and having to deal with the consequences? She has decided to keep the baby and that is not his choice and CERTAINLY not yours. However, since the pregnant ex of the LWs ex seems to want the child and seems to know the guys take on it, it is apparently her decision to bring a child into that reality. Reframed to show the immaturity of the argument: And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING CUSTOMERS to order fries with that? We have no guarantee that the mother will be as good a single parent as those mentioned in this discussion. Steve Kellmeyer Whether those parents planned it or not they need to be there for that kid and not just dump it becuase you feel like it. Great, yet another fine example of the sheer brilliance and intellect of more and more heterosexuals in this case, the male whom increasingly seem to have all the knowledge and intellect as to where babies come from as, say, your average comatose five year old. Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. And as so many others have said dontt want a kid? I am curious what RR will have to say after some interesting points being made after her comments. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. But I would not for one reason other than the fact that trusting him again would be difficult to do (and that would IMHO b. Unless Im sure the guy will make it worth my while, Im not going to do it. I would MUCH rather this guy walk away now then be stuck with a screaming baby he doesnt care for and end up throwing it off a bridge. Maam, hes made a choice. But by that same logic, you must be prepared to call a woman who doesnt want to be a mom a scumbag for getting an abortion (in the instances the guy wants to keep it but that woman doesnt). Again, not unusual, and since the LW and the guy were broken up, the LW has no claim to what the guy could do after the breakup. I would also ask him to get an STD test because he had unprotected sex.
Ask Dr. Sherry: 'My Fianc Got Another Woman Pregnant, Now - Essence Posted Over 1 Month. And as far as I can tell, it happens an awful lot. Barely nine months after we said our final goodbye, he was the father of a baby boy. Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean and LIKE Terrance Dean on Facebook, clickHERE! No. & he tells me now, the mother agreed to take the child & look after the child, & he will leave the baby mama for me, because he loves me. But it is a result of a legal system that prioritizes the needs of children over fairness to the parents. But if she is not YOU need to decide if you can handle your boyfriend having a child with another woman. No, he could be furious at the legal system that compelled it or at the woman (who, by the way, was equally culpable in the creation) who opts to continue with a child only she wants.. What I see is a huge surge of anger at the guy and all sorts of reflections on what type of person he must be, and relatively little anger towards the woman, whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct. In the end he is a great dad and we are expecting our second.. a Girl:) SpaceySteph landygirl SpaceySteph Your constant blatant disregard for others is increasingly more and more shocking Plus it is only the heteros that are so steadfast and determined to keep fucking people like me over and over All the while, claiming they want smaller government Then get the FUCK out of my bedroom and out of my fucking life. The pill doesnt stop ovulation in all women. Chopper jump on another severe cold day with the right hand exposed to activate the reserve chute. We only have sex if were ready to be a father? Thats my advice. Thats what responsible men who want to have sex with women and dont want children do.
Thats why I kind of went to the extreme with the whole Threw some money thing. She goes to a restaurant and orders a meal that doesnt explicitly say that it has peanuts in it, but the restaurant has several other dishes that have peanuts in it. He wants nothing to do with her OR the baby? P.P.S. It's been really painful for me. Yes, he had unprotected sex. Lucky us. If this is the case then your friend is in the clear because he has no legal responsibility any more. Respect her decision. Wow..two mintueswhen did he realize he couldnt stand her before or after the two minutes? Steve Kellmeyer If you dont want to potentially end up with a kid with a woman you cant stand, dont have sex with her. Whats your personal experience with forced fatherhood, no say over an abortion or crippling child support? April 10, 2012, 6:43 pm. Unwanted or not, they are innocent in this whole mess that your boyfriend and his whatever-she-is created. entertaining for sure, but dont be so surprised when people call you out on it a la Landygirl. Not exactly. I dont think anyone thinks hes an ass for having sex with someone after a split. I think that is fair. These Are The 5 Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship. I have tried to encourage him to stay with this woman soley because of this pregnancy, but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along, and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. If you cant handle the idea that this could happen, then wrap it up, or dont have casual sex. I feel in a way he is essentially giving the child up for adoptionto the mother who wants the child. 2. im not disagreeing with you. But the important thing for you to know, as the mother of a child who may not ever know their biological father, is that your child wont miss what they never had. I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. FYI first time posting but long time reader. Either_Coconut 3 mo. 99% of women would not blame the other woman, baselessly accuse her of trying to trap her bf, be angry that someone she has no relationship with has chosen not have an abortion per their wishes, treat this woman as if she is solely responsible for child she only helped to conceive. Womans body, womans choice, womans child, NEVER is it the mans child.
Top 49 Girlfriend Jokes 1. I brought my girlfriend home and introduced Theres a fun scenario. I have no idea why you two took a break if you cant live without each other, but honestly, neither one of you is mature enough to be in a committed relationship.
No one called him a criminal. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. If you cant live with those outcomes, dont have sex with her. we broke up and he got another girl pregnant. A forty year old man should know that once is all it takes to handcuff himselfto someone for the next 19 years or so. I also think hes kind of a jerk for having sex with someone he cant stand. My issue is even, at the very least, if you dont want to wear a condom.then pull out!!! If you dont want a kid with a stranger then PULL OUT!!! April 9, 2012, 3:42 pm. Also I disagree with the logic that if you support legal abortion, then you emphatically deny that men create children. Now, I want to believe him, but in my rightful mind I know I will be so dumb to buy all that he is say. They should be used. Its a great idea, really, for someone who is unfit and probably on the verge of abuse or something else horrible. You dont get to badmouth this woman just because she wont get an abortion that YOU and your boyfriend want her to get. April 9, 2012, 9:19 pm, Note I said 99% of PEOPLE in that situation, not women. It was unplanned and a . Oh, me too! Yeah, but theres a lot of harshness toward the LW as well. I believe that, in the case of consensual sex leading to pregnancy, both parties would be able to decide if they want to keep the child, and if the man doesnt and the woman does, she should bear full responsibility for child care, because it is a decision she has made. Everyone is pretty much in agreement there. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. Im arguing that he should be able to get out of the responsibility in the same way that a woman can get out of that responsibility. Not a double standard at all. As well, the LW has no right to call this other woman names, purely because it was the LWs (ex? Everyone knows it. If youre going to have casual sex, there are some things you can leave to the goodwill of others and some where youve gotta be a little bit proactive. Tell him to fuck off; if he couldnt live without you he should have figured it out before impregnating someone he cant stand.
My Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant Before We Started Dating, What -Exposed you to STIs by going bareback with a woman he cant stand and hes known for two minutes and then coming back to you Also I take that because your boyfriend knew she was on the pill he didnt use a condom. We are so in love with eachother and are with eachother all the time. Maybe because she wants something to love. female
People in healthy relationships dont say that. They dont see the need to lie about it, Meanwhile, my friends and I who havent gotten HIV all (surprise, surprise!) Heres a thought experiment for you: Its 100% ok if you cant or dont want to be in that situation. What can you change? Ive grown up better being raised by a loving, supportive mother who wanted me than by two parents who didnt want to be together, one of whom readily admitted he wasnt ready or willing to be a father. P.S. Well, I guess its good that you now know that you cant bear life without each other, but that seems a bit juvenile to me. He sounds self-entitled, immature, arrogant, an all around horrible person. Its not the situation, but the way its written. Its easier just to blame her and act like hes an innocent victim, but hes not. Homosexual couples dont HAVE to adopt. BACKFIRES! ], Chuck Pelto She says she thinks shed like to keep it. and its also appalling that he would order a woman to abort. People are calling him scum because hes a guy who doesnt want to become a father to that womans child. 6napkinburger According to DeCrow, he shouldnt even have to pay child support, because thats fundamentally unfair. I cant tell you how many children have grown up thinking something was wrong with THEM because they had a parent who didnt want them.. Weird question. But if you are uninterested in a relationship with him because of his newfound drama then walk away sister. I think its dispicable that you would consider re-uniting with a man that thinks his only obligation as a father is financial support. He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby. PS. nurserie cerise et capucine we broke up and he got another girl pregnant.If your ex got married only months after the breakup, then something doesn't feel right.In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy . Relax. That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. You cant bear life without each other yet hes untrappable? Its a two way street guys. It would have been way happier if its bottles didnt explode. I think Dan Savage an Santorum have some sexual tension though. I am amazed at people who think abortion is wrong for religious reasons, but have no concerns about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met for two minutes. As a woman, you have control over that. I think the LW here should wash her hands of this whole mess and stay away from the drama. I believe I saw the C-word used at least once. They can both make a choice but only Susie must physically implement the plan. Thats a dudes view. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. That still has no impact on my main points. Your choice. Youre wrong. Its just that all the other concepts that get us to the point of support arent gender blind yet. And the legal system that obligates him was in place when he put himself in this position. Secondly, as PPs have pointed out, the whole concept of We cant live without one another is f-ed up. Maybe she doesnt to be with your boyfriend, perhaps she just wants him to be there for the baby as a father. ColorsOfTheWind As a woman, I have to take responsibility that any man I have sex with may very well walk away from me never to be heard from again leaving me with a child to raise alone. 2. the guy is not worth you in a relationship. Inc. Lee's Summit MO. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. "The best way to move through a breakup while pregnant is to let the feelings flow," says McDermott. Answer (1 of 60): I would drop kick him out the door. April 10, 2012, 6:56 pm. I get unsettled and frustrated whenever I see my ex girlfriend's photos on Facebook with her boyfriend and pictures of the ultrasound of their baby. Wow RR, I like it when you get angry. April 10, 2012, 7:31 pm. Mostly for the kid though, I think. i thought that was a bit harsh as well although her anger is unjustified, shes actually just reacting the same way 99% of people would do in that same situation. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. It merely reduces the chances. You are certainly not the first person in this situation, and its worked out well for others, so you relationship may not be *doomed*, but it will be certainly complicated. I think, Chuck, what she meant was that no one is forcing these men to impregnate strangers. And, in fact, there is arguably no way for the woman to actually be 100% certain of her final attitude prior to becoming pregnant. But the woman needs to be prepared to accept his involvement as strictly financial. Id at least like a comment from the LW, since, as much fun as this has been, I do agree that it seems not unlikely that the letter is contrived. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. Identical twin men: one is an IVF doctor, one is a carpenter. When you split up with someone, you SPLIT UP. And why do you think shes trying to trap him? I love the argument that the women receiving child support are just sipping margaritas all day while getting mani/pedis on this income. But, the real reason you cant let go is because you feel bad that youve invested 4 years into this relationship hoping it would lead to something, and all you got is heartbreak, and him getting another woman pregnant. Its Gone Downhill. Hell, I dont even know the lady in question, and I can tell that shell be a lousy mother, too. And water. It doesnt make sense. Meaning, a woman SHOULD ask the guy who knocked her up what he would like. Itll take work and patience, but he CAN be a father to the baby, and a partner to you.. How about, The woman who decided to keep the child knowing that the man was not interested in being a father and providing support?. I would like to also say, we dont know that shes trapping him. Well get our hands off your uterus when you get your hands off our wallets. April 10, 2012, 12:44 pm. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Im quite late to the discussion, but I took a lot of time reading over the comments, trying to make sense of the two sides of the argument at hand. she may well not be at all thrilled to be pregnant and not expecting anything from this guy. lets_be_honest Child support, such as it is, is frequently used as stealth spousal support. Why are you standing up for mens right to bang a chick they have known two minutes without a condom and have no consequences for THEIR actions. No. LW, this guy sounds like a scumbag. Please help. You already have something that will tie you to her for minimum 18 years. yes he doesnt seem like much a catch, but to say he exposed her to STDs! is a stretch. We all know that going in. My ex and I broke up for the first time a year ago. Steve, I dont think you should waste your energy getting so fired up about this. If you were having a good communication way with him before, you can found out that he got another girl pregnant before you were dating. April 10, 2012, 8:46 am, he does not have the option to opt out entirely. Let him go. Going through a breakup can be tough.It can leave you feeling restless and struggling to fill the white space left behind by the relationship. 3) A parent leaving their child with the other parent, especially one they barely know, isnt the same as putting a child up for adoption. I think the hes a scum is more about not wanting anything to do with a child that he helped create and trying to brow beat this woman into having an abortion. If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? *ETA: also, most of my comments on here are usually light-heardely dumbed down just to lighten the mood a little. There is a chance it isnt his. Youre the one asserting that its only one sex that experiences unfairness. I was just 6 months into a relationship when I got pregnant. Women why do we allow men to sleep with us while they are drunk again..my god.I wont say dont continue your relationship but it will be hard. But really, no one knows his true reaction. April 9, 2012, 10:00 pm, No, I actually think that of us effectively use condoms Most of the dumb idiots I know that knocked girls up all thought they were safe because they were told all was well, Im on the pill PS. Contrary to what might be implied buy my other comments in this thread, Im not typically a proponent of abortions. Furthermore, dont tell me what to do with my body and I wont tell you what to do with yours, little girl. Dude, get away from this guy pronto! Please. 1. 50 percent of babies are unplanned, and that includes married couples using contraception. Oh, and I really dislike when every accidental pregnancy letter we get on here because a huge fest for people throwing around you were too stupid to use a condom or you didnt try to prevent pregnancy at all, when we really have NO information regarding what precautions they did or did not take. Bottom line. What happens when *she* gets pregnant and he still doesnt want to be a father? And you cant have conception without sperm. He cant be irresponsible and fail to take every reasonable effort to avoid pregnancy (doubling up on BC and using condoms, getting a vasectomy, or only having sex with women he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt also do not want to bring children into the world), and then act surprised and angry when it happens anyways. SweetsAndBeats
9 Feelings Everyone Experiences When They Find Out Their Ex Is - Romper John Rohan Not that she had the audacity to get pregnant after sex but for keeping the baby. Whose idea was it to take a break anyway? And sorry if this is harsh, but JESUS, I cant even be nice about this one. 99 % of people would necessarily mean about 99 % of women. Adoption is a completely different matter. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. Where the issue comes in is who physically is around the child more, which is placement, which though there has been progress tends to err on the side of the mother still, with all other things being equal. Heres the fact: LW, you dont get a say in what this woman does, and neither does your boyfriend. He didnt come chasing after you. Bottom line. So, in your opinion, anyone who has sex without wanting to get pregnant is an idiot? Problem. He could've at least waited a week after coming back! Hes not a victim, unless she raped him. Any 40 year old man thats in the habit of jumping into bed with a woman who claims shes on BC after knowing her for 2 min is so dirty, Id be afraid to touch him much less get back in a relationship with him. To everyone. Hes allowed to not want to be a father! I chose to have a baby. Answer (1 of 11): I am an older lady. Dont force him to be. Yes everyone went bonkers. The law does, because once the child is here, through no fault of its own, it needs to be supported in order to have a successful life and successful children are in the best interest of all of society. And oxygen. and our Okay, Tim.
The fact that you are even considering getting back with this guy right now blows my mind. he delivers the baby from the nursery to your house. Listen, people have sexcasuallyand sometimes with people they never hope to see again. And he shouldnt, either. This is your CHILD. That pretty much sums it up for me. April 9, 2012, 12:16 pm. You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. God knows the mother of this child will have no choice but to do that. Malarky. April 9, 2012, 1:28 pm. Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. Then the day we got back from this amazing vacation, he broke up with me through email! If there is no child at conception Given that fact base, why wouldnt a woman who wanted a baby (but not a husband) entrap a suitable donor? I have nothing against casual sex or sex without a relationship, but you should still have some sort of base level of respect for the people you are banging. You deserve that label for attacking a woman that you dont even know, for trying to blame her for sperm-jacking your loser boyfriend and for suggesting that she is trying to trap him. I think this is a very fair and reasonable response, I wonder if she will think so too.
What Your Breakup Will Tell You About Your Ex-Girlfriend - Luvze Nevertheless, if you choose to sleep with a guy that you are not in a relationship with or have only known for two months, without doubling up on the protection, and get pregnant and decide to keep the babyThen I think you should be aware that a situation like this may happen. Maybe she doesnt want the baby at all, but it seems the least unappealing choice to her in this scenario. April 9, 2012, 5:17 pm. And no it shouldnt be just the womans responsibility that the bf just met if she decides to not have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. Freeze your sperm and get a vasectomy. Im an okder Dude but thats what we used to do. In my opinion, a deadbeat leaves his child, abandons the mother, and offers no financial support. Whoever is saying otherwise is simply wrong. April 9, 2012, 1:23 pm. Steve Kellmeyer I mean every word! It ended because you both were doing your own thing, and you had trust issues. He chose not to take the steps to avoid making a baby, and to avoid putting himself (and you!) Just a suggestion for your scumbag boyfriend. Dr. Sherry. Its interesting how none of these comments address that he SPECIFICALLY said that he would have nothing to do with his own child. Lets wait to have sex until we have a bigger place. And you want to marry this guy because.why? Hes responsible for the choices that brought him where he is now. Its crazy how much abject hatred there is out there. April 10, 2012, 9:46 pm. How very astute of you to notice the fundamental difference between the genders. Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. Guy Friday .of F****** Idiots. let us know if he had). I also think that some LWs after reading the comments change there stories in the updates to try to save face though.
My Ex Had A Baby With Someone Else And Wants Me Back Man, I was having a crappy morning and now I feel SO MUCH BETTER, because Im not this LW. Its because of biology, and a legal system that puts the interests of the child above the interests of the parent. Those double standards take up too much room. I dont think I have ever seen so many thumbs up on one post And it deserves them! I think its pretty unfair that women have the choice to abort or not, and the man gets no say in that, not really. And if so, Im ready. In the future, if I should ever have the desire to date again I would use condoms in addition to birth control to make sure I dont get diseases. The NBA star is reportedly expecting his third child with personal trainer Maralee Nichols, per The Daily Mail. Is he supposed to just bend over and let her decide how his life is going to go, until the day he dies, just because they had sex once? 5. And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother). And they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. Fix Your Communication Problem. If he doesnt think hed be a good dad, he probably wont be. Ever. Scummy is the wrong word to use. And yet men still keep having sex with us. in whether or not a child is a result here is what all you men should do at like age 18 or whatever. And with that said, he should confirm the woman is indeed pregnant and get a paternity test when the child is born. I think both you and JR are twisting this around to make it sound like we dont like the dude because were prudes who dont believe in casual sex, or that were siding with the LW or something, when most of us actually said that we believe that the LW is as scumy as the dude. Its always just a hope. If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy.. sorry, brain). You seem to have completely missed the point that virtually anything we do involves risk, and that doing those things doesnt mean were prepared for any possible consequence at any time. Surely you know that So if you want to hate women for having child support, why dont you hate the men who skipped town.